What is a living funeral?

A gathering held before someone dies, with them present and usually involved in planning it. The structure borrows from a funeral — speakers, music, a eulogy delivered to the person rather than about them — and the point is that the person hears it. They are also called living wakes or living celebrations.

How is a living funeral organised?

Quickly, and around the person's energy. A single planning conversation, a ninety-minute service in a home, a garden or a hospice common room, and a run sheet that assumes it may need to be shortened on the day. There is no paperwork and no notice period.

Does a living funeral replace the funeral?

Not usually. Most families still hold a service afterwards, often a smaller committal, because the two do different jobs — one is for the person, the other is for the people left. Doing both is common and there is no discount or penalty for arranging the second later.

Is a living funeral morbid?

Families who have held one almost never describe it that way. The reported experience is closer to relief: the things that would have gone unsaid get said, the person gets to answer, and the funeral that follows carries less weight because the important conversation already happened.

Living funerals and living celebrations

A living funeral is a celebration held while the person is still here, planned with them, so the things people would have said about them get said to them instead. It runs about ninety minutes, costs $750, and is arranged in days rather than weeks — usually alongside palliative or hospice care.

Planning it around the person

Everything about a living funeral is decided by how much the person has in them on the day. Ninety minutes is the outer limit and an hour is more common. There is seating for everybody including the person it is for, a running order that can be cut in half without anyone noticing, and a nominated point at which it can simply stop.

The planning conversation is usually one meeting, sometimes at a bedside, and it is with the person wherever that is possible. They choose the speakers, the music and how much of it they want to be part of. Some want to answer, some want to listen, and a few want to say something at the end and need it written down in case the day turns out to be a difficult one.

What usually happens afterwards

Most families still hold a funeral or a committal later, because the two events do different jobs — one is for the person and one is for the people left. There is no discount and no penalty for arranging the second one later, and a graveside or ashes committal on its own is $450.

The other thing worth arranging in advance is a recording. People who could not be there will want it, and the person it is for often wants to hear it back. Funeral directors and hospices can usually help, and a phone on a tripod is genuinely enough.

Questions people ask

What is a living funeral?: A gathering held before someone dies, with them present and usually involved in planning it. The structure borrows from a funeral — speakers, music, a eulogy delivered to the person rather than about them — and the point is that the person hears it. They are also called living wakes or living celebrations.
How is a living funeral organised?: Quickly, and around the person's energy. A single planning conversation, a ninety-minute service in a home, a garden or a hospice common room, and a run sheet that assumes it may need to be shortened on the day. There is no paperwork and no notice period.
Does a living funeral replace the funeral?: Not usually. Most families still hold a service afterwards, often a smaller committal, because the two do different jobs — one is for the person, the other is for the people left. Doing both is common and there is no discount or penalty for arranging the second later.
Is a living funeral morbid?: Families who have held one almost never describe it that way. The reported experience is closer to relief: the things that would have gone unsaid get said, the person gets to answer, and the funeral that follows carries less weight because the important conversation already happened.

Not yet taking enquiries here

This site is being built. The phone number, the Google listing and the entry on the Attorney-General's register of marriage celebrants will be published together, as one identical set — which is what a search engine needs in order to be sure they all describe the same business.

Prices, inclusions and paperwork on this site are complete and current. Only the contact details are outstanding.